some wednesday

Sure, there are days when the fear really gets to you. There are days when you wonder why you made this choice, when you have no idea how to accomplish anything or even what the next step is. The path is all full of brambles and your paycheck is late. And of course the fear is nothing compared to the times when you wake up in an empty apartment and the only plan you have is to work in your bedroom alone all day and then go to sleep in the same room in order to do it again tomorrow. All for a movie that's full of flaws and empty of promise and not necessarily worth it.

Then there are the days when you go to Joe's house to borrow some lights and he lends you his camera too so that one huge problem is solved, and you find it's easier to breathe. And then you put your glasses on to discover the brown lump on the couch is kenan feeling sorry for himself on a gig that fell through, and would you like some tea? So you drink the tea and tell them how you couldn't help but feel nostalgic for college today, and they laugh at you and tell you about the cool books they've been reading, and suddenly two hours have gone by. So then you invite them back to your apartment to look at the cut of your movie, and they walk over to your place and you spend one hour talking about housing and one hour talking about your film and half an hour talking about other films until you notice that it's 3:30 and you haven't eaten, which then prompts a trip to the Label where someone flicks your ear while you're biting into your sandwich, and it's chioke coming to escape the silences of his own apartment, so you move to a bigger table that's full of sunshine so that when liz rides over on her bike, she has to shield her eyes from the glare. And sure we're all trying to figure things out, but the food is good and joe just said something funny and it's 4:30 on wednesday and you wouldn't trade this for any desk job.

Those are the days when you go back to work until late late at night and you look at the cut of your film and it looks ok.

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