and some milk for my friend

     The inspectors arrived this morning while I was stirring my oatmeal. They had come to fix the smoke detectors and to make sure we weren't keeping anything illegal in the apartment like an undeclared subleter (me) or an undeclared pet (the cat). "I warned Toby I was bringing them today," the manager whispered to me as I rushed for my keys and searched for my glasses. The oatmeal bubbled unheeded on the stove. "What's going on? Who are these people?" Mitten demanded, which came out of course, as, "Mreow! Reeor! Mreeeoooorrrrrrr!!!" I tried locking her in the closet, but she would have none of it. So I shoved her in her travel case, mushing her face down so that I could zip it closed before anyone saw. Then, lugging her down the steps, I hastened to my car.
     "Listen, we've got to hide out for a while," I told her.
     "Reeoooorrrrrr!!!!" she said pitifully.
     "Quiet. Here's the plan. We'll go to Starbucks and try to find Toby."

     Starbucks was crowded as usual in the morning. Mitten and I stepped inside and scanned the place. But nowhere could we see my roommate drinking his morning coffee. "Reoorr!" Mitten called out. Heads turned. I grabbed my phone and dialed Toby's number. No answer.
      "Um, Toby," I told the machine, "Mitten and I are at Starbucks-" "Reooooorr! Reeeeeaaer!" "-trying to find you. But you're not here and the inspectors are at the house." Everybody was looking at us, so I did the only thing I could think of to do- I ordered a small black iced tea with sugar. A woman in line eyed me with the corners of her mouth twisted way down. But after a moment they lifted.
     "Oh wait! Is that a cat?" She peered into the case. Mitten peered back and howled at her.
      "Um. Yeah."
     "Oh! I thought maybe it was a dog and somebody was beating it! Hi little kitty!" Mitten glared at her and let out a tortured cry. "Well. Good luck with her," the woman said before she fled.

     They made my tea in record time, but when I opened up my wallet, all I had was a dollar. "Uh, just a second." I fumbled through my bag, digging out pennies and nickels, dropping a dime, and finally producing the two extra quarters it cost to pay for Starbucks' massive takeovers and employee benefits.
     "Why are we still here?!!!" Mitten shrieked. Nobody told me to have a nice day when I left.

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