the guez

Rain! The first LA rainfall since I landed three months ago! Ooooh, I'm a happy happy girl.

     The inspectors arrived this morning while I was stirring my oatmeal. They had come to fix the smoke detectors and to make sure we weren't keeping anything illegal in the apartment like an undeclared subleter (me) or an undeclared pet (the cat). "I warned Toby I was bringing them today," the manager whispered to me as I rushed for my keys and searched for my glasses. The oatmeal bubbled unheeded on the stove. "What's going on? Who are these people?" Mitten demanded, which came out of course, as, "Mreow! Reeor! Mreeeoooorrrrrrr!!!" I tried locking her in the closet, but she would have none of it. So I shoved her in her travel case, mushing her face down so that I could zip it closed before anyone saw. Then, lugging her down the steps, I hastened to my car.      "Listen, we've got to hide out for a while," I told her.      "Reeoooorrrrrr!!!!" she said pitifully.      "Quiet. Here's t...

recipe for a seven-headed giant snake: Combine: 4 different kinds of underbrush 2 maracas 1 group of flapping bats 1 low rumble 1 tortured pig static Mix thoroughly. The Track of the Tortured Pig: Fifteen years ago, a designer just couldn't seem to find the sound he wanted. So he and his buddy tied up a pig and tortured it to death, recording the whole event. He was later to win an oscar for his efforts. This is a true story. To this day, the track of the tortured pig is passed from designer to designer for use in monster shrieks, explosions, dinosaurs and dragons. You have probably heard it a hundred times. "It's pretty painful to listen to," Randy told me. "You don't want to be mixing that track alone in the middle of the night."

it was 3 am on the east coast. and he helped me, made a sandwich, and went back to sleep. I feel grateful just to know him and twice as grateful to call him my friend.